I wanted a proper Mum!

I am getting punished and dragged through psychologically distressing things, but I shouldn’t be though because all I’ve ever wanted is a proper mother. One that is loving and doesn’t have a none existent emotional capacity. Mine is as cold as ice. I only exist because my father wanted a child of his own. I was slotted on the end of an already progressively disjointed family. I’m never good enough because I was born disabled. That’s more likely to be my parents fault because I was born when they were knocking forty when they decided to have me. Genetically that isn’t a good idea. I live with the personal pain of being starved of love the whole of my life and much more severely since my dad passed away. I don’t deserve courts, I deserve yo be cared about.