I’m not going to say why I’m posting this because I don’t want to go into specifics. However, I’m getting really fed up now. I wish to be left alone. I need my space because I feel bullied and picked on. I made honest mistakes and I can’t take them back. Others don’t understand my disability issues. Those people I do not want in my life in any shape or form. I don’t go out so I do not have anything to do with those that have laid into me this week. I feel so guilty for things that have happened to the point where it’s made my illnesses worse. There’s a lot of things that went on from my end which outsiders do not know. Therefore, seeing as others do not know the full facts of things that have happened in my life, I’d appreciate it if they just kept their opinions to themselves and kept away from me.
And, above all else, do not telltale things to the local authorities to try to get my blog shut down etc. I never name anyone so others can’t be identified by the information on the blog. The majority of readers would not know who I was talking about. I would never name anyone on here. I do not post stuff to annoy anyone else. I post things to educate and inform readers about what it’s like to live as a painfully shy introvert who happens also to have a disability which doesn’t help those aspects of my personality.
Lastly, those of you that see me as an awful person and discounts the aspects of my disability due to the fact that I’m not a typical Asperger and I have borderline learning disability mixed in with it, can go away because I want absolutely nothing to do with those people. I can’t stop others talking about me between themselves but if I don’t know about it then I cannot be hurt by it. I’ve only ever broken and said something terrible when others have outrightly discriminated against me. I was punished for not being able to take any more and retaliating. Yes, I had my OCD emailing issue before that, but I was never nasty until I was attacked from all sides because no one understood my behaviours.
And, if you really want something to gossip about, I just want to put it out there that losing the last person hurt me a lot. That is because they were the first person in my entire life that I actually properly fell for. I have never cared about another in that way until I met them. I obviously cared about my son but not in that way. And, as I’ve previously explained, I do not love like other people. It’s nothing about the sexual side to me. I certainly didn’t fall for them because of the physical attraction. It was more about their mind and personality. I’m not discussing how I felt with friends of theirs because I don’t talk about how I feel to others, especially where it comes to how I feel about someone else. I lost the first person I actually fell in love with. It wasn’t like my past. It was mature love, not stupid kiddy trying to find the Mother I never had type thing. I am well aware of the fact that first loves and crushes never work out, they are doomed to failure because lack of experience makes us mess it all up. So, I would appreciate it if people stop talking about things that they do not have any understanding of because it hurts me ok. I have to live with losing a person I cared deeply about due to being pushed so far I said those awful things. That is going to be a lifetime of pain and I’ve already decided that I’m going to stay single because no one else would compare.