Stop this ride of ‘life’ because I want to get off!

I am literally nearly at the point of collapsing on the floor right now. I have so much housework because I was trying to store up the energy that I have (which isn’t a lot). I was walking and could feel my legs trying to go from under me. I was determined to get home but I did have to walk slower. I feel sick with the tiredness. I am going down more and more but I keep fighting it, that means I can function enough normally to get things done.

I can’t deny that it is an uphill effort at this time and it has been for over a year. I’m never going to get the support for my PDA because this area won’t even acknowledge it, let alone provide support for it. Fighting constant anxiety is a continuing struggle I have on a daily basis. I don’t mind not going out socially. It’s something that I do not miss whatsoever. Other people cause extreme social anxiety and if I wish to be ‘at peace’ I need to stay away from that. I’m far from content about my life being the way that it is though. That is a constant source of stress for me. I’m living on next to nothing after being conned by psychics telling me my life was going to get better and that everything would work out. I had £25,000 worth of savings before they drained me of it. I now have to rely on the state who aren’t prepared to give me PIP.

Those savings were compensation. I know why I got that compensation now. I may have needed to live off of them because the damage that doctor caused means I won’t be able to work. The medication I was given as a child apparently wasn’t even approved for use in children. I sometimes think that we were used as test subjects. Those ‘tests’ could have messed up my brain for life and causing the issues I’m experiencing. I have a migraine that is radiating right around my head and right down my back. I’m going to have to go to lie down.

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