I have just dropped in to announce that I have had great news through the post yesterday regarding my GCSE Law exam results. I actually did better than I thought I would and was absolutely shocked when I opened the envelope. I was expecting to scrap a C, but I got a B!!! I was astonished because it was quite a challenging subject. I studied very hard for the exam due to establishing that when I first started reading through the material we had to remember for the exam. I have put in a hell of a lot of effort to pass that subject. I would have been happy with a C because it is a pass, but B is now a bonus to me. I’m proud of myself because I know that no one else really believed that I could grasp such a complex subject. I had to believe in myself when no one else would believed in me.
It was lovely to have some positive news after my horrendous ordeal over the last month. I now realise that I did wrong in the past. I have learned my lesson and I just want to get on with my life. I couldn’t see at the time that I was acting abnormally to how others expected. I only thought about myself. I no longer just think about myself. I also think about others. It took a horrible experience to get me to do that. But, some of us need hard lessons in life. It’s made me a better person and after seeing some things inside, I want to help people. I don’t want them to end up in that position. That’s me doing more behind the scenes and less on the blog etc. As someone who can pick things up and feel things off of others, I saw so much in that environment that shouldn’t even be a result in those individuals lives. I even want to train in the direction of teaching and go teach in prisons now. There was so many there that lacked education and had turned to drugs and other criminal activity. They were really struggling with the lower levels of education even. I find it so sad to see that and want to be part of that change.
I learned the social things inside. I feel like a changed person now I’m out because I had a brilliant mentor who was also a prisoner. She helped me to understand things that I never could grasp before and finally be able to let things go. I’m starting to feel a lot more positive now I’ve done that and things are slowly changing for me. People are starting to notice the positive things about me rather than just focusing on the negative. I will no longer have to do any work that is seen as ‘degrading’ by those that morally think that stripping off your clothes for money is wrong. I wasn’t comfortable with that kind of thing but I needed money to pay bills. The benefit system had taken a huge percentage away from me. I won’t do it again. I don’t want that to become my way of making a living. I enjoy the freelance writing work and may even write a book if I have the patience. I wrote one years ago as a teenager. I took it offline for privacy reasons though. I have heard that there are still previews out there but the book is no longer available for sale. I’m selling my copy to someone who saw the preview and really wanted to read the full book and I’ve autographed it for them. I personally never want to see that book again because it’s about my early years which I’d rather forget to be able to have a positive future.
I am enjoying the little things right now. I didn’t listen to Nightwish and other similar groups for a month and I’ve really missed it. I listened to the radio but all it had on it was pop music. I do like some pop music but there is only so much of it I can take before it starts to make me miss my preferred music tastes. I used to take this all for granted, but I now really appreciate being able to listen to specific bands that I am into. I’m going to see this bands concert in December. I hear that they’re absolutely epic live.
I also lost inches of my waist and hips in prison. I wasn’t able to drink fizzy drinks like Pepsi Max. I think that is how I got slimmer. I had a 29 inch waist when I first went in a month ago. I now have a 26 inch waist. I had 36 inch hips when I went in and now I’ve got 34 inch hips. I’m trying to limit myself to one little bottle of fizzy drink per day and also drink more water or other drinks. I’ve not had a 26 inch waist in years. It is more about diet than exercise when it comes to keeping slim. I did drink way too much fizzy drinks before I ended up inside and couldn’t keep my waist under 29 inches. I really do need to try to cut down even more than having just one a day. One every few days as a treat is probably the way I’m going to maintain this new trim figure.
I got wolf whistled by a builder earlier. I guess that I looked attractive in my skin tight jeans and tiny leather jacket. I’m never sure whether to take those kinds of things as a compliment or be offended. The modern way is that as women we should see it as degrading and a form of sexual harassment. But, I just gave him a smile and walked on. I don’t mind men looking at me, as long as they do not touch me. Those are my rules. I have male friends who know that they’ll instantly get ghosted if they decide to make a move on me. If they want to keep me as a friend, they know not to touch me. They are more than welcome to look at my figure hugging outfits, but they can’t actually touch me. I’m happy being single and unless someone really special came along then this is the way I prefer to live my life. I’m so used to being on my own, I simply do not need a partner. I need my personal space to recharge and rest because socialising makes me very tired. I’d have to end up with a partner that was understanding that I needed that and would give me space at those times.