I went out earlier today only to discover that I had forgotten my purse. I had to drive ten minutes back to my home to get it before I could get petrol and bits that I needed from the Supermarket. I have such a dumb brain sometimes. I cannot stand being forgetful. I don’t like it in other people, let alone myself. I have the worse matted hair because there is so much product left in it from the last couple of days. I was going to wash it today but I got up too late. I will definitely have to do it tomorrow before the ends look like they’re rats tails. The colour that I have on the ends always goes dry when it has been in there for a while. The nail varnish that I put on is peeling off in places. I like sleeping but I do have to really sort out my sleep pattern because I barely get anything done. I’m feeling tired even though I slept that long.
I was still awake at 4am watching Netflix though. I was watching a television series from America that I got into so much that I will just watch the next episode due to wanting to know what happens next. It is called ‘Between’. There is basically an outbreak of a virus which kills everyone over the age of 22. The town is then put under quarantine and the youngsters that are left have to learn to fend for themselves. Meanwhile, it is a battle with the outside government and making sure they aren’t going to spread it to the outside world. If anyone wants to know more then they’ll just have to watch it. I’m on season two so I’d give the whole story away if I mentioned everything I’ve seen in it so far.
I’m fed up of being the type of person who worries constantly about others. I should be focusing on myself but my mind is always side tracked by issues affecting others which is nothing to do with my life. I feel obligated to sort others out because I am an empath intuitive type. I don’t see the point in having those ‘gifts’ which become intrusive unless I can actually use them for positive reasons. I can easily influence things just by my energy when it comes to making things worse. If I can do negative things with my ability to influence the energies that surround us, then surely I can positively change things too? I know that I’m constantly fighting against human desires and man made systems which don’t work but it’s worth a try. I’ve been told by spiritual types that I’m a natural healer from a young age.
I just have to establish some kind of control over the side of me that is empath intuitive. I can’t let my anger over things influence the energy that I give out. Anger manipulates the energies that control things around us negatively which in turn doesn’t bring out those healer abilities. We use the same energies to cause destruction as we do to heal. It is purely about how you’re feeling when you send out parts of your energy to influence things. We all have the ability to do this stuff when we’re born but most of us lose it when we grow up. That never happened to me. I kept it. It isn’t about having magical powers. That is just something Hollywood made up. It would be great to have the abilities that the witches have in programmes such as charmed but unfortunately it’s not that spectacular. Being a Witch in reality is a lot more boring. There are good things about it though. For instance, animals literally start following me even if I have never met them before. I can communicate with them and believe me they’re a lot more accommodating that people when it comes to my Autism.