Why should I be the only one that takes responsibility here or has empathy?

There is a widely held view that those with Autism do not have empathy. We have that thrown in our faces constantly. However those not Autistic cannot emphasize with how they make us feel and how their decisions affect our lives. But they certainly want us to emphasize when it is the other way around. How is it fair that I have to just accept another person’s decision when their actions have distressed me too? It should work both ways. I have finally seen how I went wrong after working out all details that have been fed to me. But the other person refuses to see what they’ve done to me. Either they are a complete narcissist (that is a proper psychological term not an insult) or I am unable to express things clear enough for others to understand. I had the humility to come on here and be completely honest about not listening and being generally a vile person because I blamed them for things that happened. I’m the Autistic one who is constantly told that I have to see things from others perspective but others refuse to do the same. I have been ripped apart by these accusations. Some of which I did not deserve but I accepted them because I was trying to take responsibility.  But the other half of the situation doesn’t see what they’ve done to me. It isn’t a matter of whether someone wants to acknowledge this fact but the reality of the effects on me have been immense. The reality is not what the other side wants to acknowledge. They cannot see that they’re continuing to be unfair towards me. I only wanted a friend. It was an innocent as that right from the beginning. I was honest about my Autism. I didn’t hide anything from them because I’m a decent person. The sad truth is that I’d accept the other person for all their unpleasant bits of personality but they punish me for my autism for life. That isn’t fair. I would still stick up for them if others called them weird because I’m understanding. Obviously they aren’t because they have been referring to me as their stalker to everyone for a very long time. If I had known what they were saying behind my back I wouldn’t have broken the initial order because I would have been aware of what kind of person they were. I was not made aware of anything until 3 years down the line after the order is now going to come up on my record forever. They are not the victim here in regards to abuse of their position and qualifications. Legally this order doesn’t work both ways. They can say anything they like to me via others or anything about me. They aren’t accountable by law for anything that they say is the truth about me. I have no protection from attacks caused by things they’ve said about me. That isn’t right. The order should protect me too. It instead actually puts me in danger and may prevent me ever gaining employment. I could go to the Police with things that have been said to me online. They wouldn’t do anything though because the order prevents anything coming back on the other person involved. They aren’t ignorant to this because they have a law degree. That order is more about having complete control and manipulation over me than feeling protected. The people around us simply cannot see that and continue to see me as the awful one. Open your eyes. A decent person would at least acknowledge what their actions did to me. Instead they’re refusing to see the impact that they’ve had on me but at the same time expecting me to take on the heavy guilt of things that I did because of the situation at that time. I feel broken and torn apart but they feel absolutely nothing and never even cared about my feelings or the fact that what they did nearly pushed me to suicide. I’m certainly not being the vindictive one here.

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