Faking being productive / horror films have put something in my head now too.

I’ve been not as productive as I’ve made out to people around me this week. I haven’t done half of those things that I’d said I had when asked about it. I did some things but only the absolute minimum. I went for a walk today because I needed to order my medication and get some fresh air. I feel like I’ve not got anywhere this week. I know that I cannot help it and those that have had the same sort of issues say that not being able to do things sometimes is expected. I don’t want to be a failure. I feel like one if I can’t get things done properly. I don’t want others to do everything for me because I’ve never been that type of person. I know that everyone is allowed to be lazy once in a while but I constantly feel unable to face things which I have to do.

I watched a horror film on Netflix earlier. I now have something even more unhelpful in my head. There was something about a girl being marked by a spirit. I then think back to all the things I’ve felt throughout my life and the experiences that I’ve had in that department. I messed about with that witchcraft stuff as a youngster. I didn’t even protect myself in a circle so anything could have attached itself to my energy. I pick things up and at times just know things. I don’t know how I do it but I’ve been able to do that since before I messed with the witchcraft stuff as a teenager. I remember being able to do it since I was old enough to remember my life. I really hope that I’m not marked or something. That black shadow thing used to wake me up for many years until a few years ago I’d had enough and told it to get lost. I haven’t been woken up by it since. I’ve had other things wake me up but that is something about being intuitive and receptive to things beyond our physical world which is just something that happens from time to time. There are times I’ve wondered if I was going mad and others have also questioned my sanity. I know that a lot of people don’t believe in certain things but I do because I have seen glimpses of paranormal things I simply cannot explain. I sometimes haven’t been the only one to experience the things either so therefore I am not insane. I just hope that something hasn’t attached itself to my energy. I don’t want to carry anything around with me because right now I’m lacking physical energy without having spirits latching onto me. There are times I like to be totally alone… that includes no spirit entities watching me either.

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