I’m always exhausted type tired and it is driving me insane here. I can’t stay like this because I get nothing done. I literally feel heavy and achy all the time too. I don’t know what is going to happen with the scabs in my ear either. The problem is working its way into my ear and I keep getting headaches. I’ve always got a runny nose which is extremely annoying when I’m walking. It’s not good when I’ve got to the point that I’m so exhausted, heavy and achy that I literally feel like crying.
I never used to be like this and I simply need to get rid of it to get anything done. I’m at the point where I’ve not even answered my emails etc because I’m that exhausted. Those that know me are aware that this isn’t normal for me. I usually am the kind of person that answers things shortly after receiving them or at least on the same day if I don’t happen to see an email pop up on my phone (I really have no excuses because they pop up in front of me as phone notifications). I feel like I’m struggling through thick mud to do anything on a daily basis. I go the GP but they blame Depression. I’m on anti-depressants and I know that it isn’t down to Depression. I just want it sorted so that I can actually function in life properly. When it is causing me to physically nearly cry because of the effort of functioning through the exhausted feeling then it must be getting worse. I never used to be exhausted to the point of feeling like I was going to cry.
I’ve been through a lot but I’m mentally strong so I shouldn’t be this way. I’m not a weakling and I will not allow myself to become a weakling. That is how I feel right now because of being exhausted all the time. The fact that my body feels heavy to me also makes me feel weak and vulnerable. I absolutely hate feeling that way and don’t want to be seen that way even though I have a disability. Those that have tried to refer to me as a vulnerable adult, even if they were being nice about it, have been told very directly that I don’t want to be called that label. I certainly don’t want to feel weak because that makes me vulnerable. If I was an Animal in the wild it would get me killed and eaten as dinner if I had any weakness or vulnerability. Out there in our society it is getting to be the same way. Unfortunately, I am not streetwise. I am, however, always on my guard when I’m out or dealing with other people.