And, I’m no longer quiet…

I know that I didn’t post yesterday. I do go quiet occasionally on here. I’m still not feeling very well. I went for a walk today and yesterday but I am getting very tired. I need to really go through the flat tomorrow rather than going for a walk because I cannot avoid the mess here any longer. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow so I’m hoping that I can get them to find out what is wrong with me. Even when I do have a full nights sleep, I run out of energy so quickly. I just washed my hair because it was matted with product. I got back ache washing it. That happens every time I wash my hair now.

I keep bloating up around my stomach too. That is highly annoying because it makes me feel fat. I keep gaining weight without trying at the moment. I can maintain it by eating very little. However, I cannot shed any weight. I know that I have damaged myself with the painkiller abuse. I would just like to know what I’ve done to myself. I won’t even ask for a new organ if I’ve screwed them up because it’s my own fault. I don’t believe that anyone should have a donated organ if they’ve caused the damage by drink or drugs. I don’t think that is fair on those who get it occurring naturally for whatever reason. If I have something nasty then I’d rather know before it’s too late. I may not be able to do anything about it but I’d know why I have felt like this for over two years. I don’t feel like I have a chance at any quality of life because I’m too tired to do anything and doing the simplest things causes me aches.