I have recovered but not completely.

Many of you may have noticed that I haven’t posted for a few days. I have been busy. I normally post daily but I just haven’t had the time. I’ve been online but not really enough to post a blog entry. I’m honestly exhausted but I am starting to get some energy back. I managed to go knitting group, sorted out card/gift for Mothers Day, a long walk and my exercises that I used to be able to do before I developed Anaemia (not forgetting bits of the housework eg. hoovering-have to do this every day due to the cats bringing bits in and treading the litter tray bits everywhere). This may not sound a lot to others… but, it is more than I have been physically able to do on a daily basis since about this time last year. I used to need to nap during the day just to get everything done.

I’m still not completely okay because my energy is still dipping some days. Also, I have barely any confidence after the things that have gone on in my life over the last 6 years. I had my blood test to check my iron levels today. I’m hoping that they have improved at least a little bit. I am glad that I have a free day (well, I don’t have to go anywhere) tomorrow. I need a day to recover. I’ve been out every day doing something this week so far. I’ve lost a tiny bit of weight but the bloat hasn’t gone down from the painkillers properly yet. I can feel less fat around my middle (it collects there because I’m short).

As it is the last session for the knitting group before the schools break up, we have been asked to bring in food. I’ve said that I’ll bring cake. I decided to buy a unicorn cake. I’m going to pre cut it before I take it next week as I’m not taking a knife with me down that end of town. I’m sure that they have a knife there because the centre does cooking. However, I’m making it as simple and quick as possible to set out the cake when I get there. I’m going to leave the cake there for the office staff who helped me out by filling food vouchers in for me when I barely had enough to live on last year. I think that it is important to give back to those that actually have helped you out when things have been really awful because, lets face it, that is rare when you have the PDA form of Autism. I also made a little something for someone else’s’ Mother’s funeral because they helped me at that time too. Ironically that was a therapist that became a friend after I stopped going to see them due to being unable to afford sessions off the NHS when my benefits were stopped and reduced to barely anything. I’m kind of a friend of their family now too because I talk to their daughters as we added each other to social networks.

I know that I have the ability to be so much more than what I am right now. I had others reminding me of that recently. That is why I decided to do a degree via the open university. I can prove that I am able by completing the undergraduate in Law. I then have my eye on studying a masters in Autism (not via the open university). Then I can challenge many issues that I can’t without these two degrees. There seems to be little faith in a lot of Autism professionals that are currently in the field of Autism. I want to change all that by qualifying and becoming someone in that field that really knows what it is like to be #actuallyautistic . I need the qualifications to actually change things and to be seen as a credible advocate for the issues that we experience. I’m grown up now and I’m prepared to tackle others that already exist in the field to push for changes that are needed. I am not intimidated that they are older and more experienced than me. I’m intending to be the ‘new blood’ that is going to shake everything up for the greater good. I’m definitely not afraid of stepping on people’s toes to fight for the changes that Autistic people require.

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