I accept my weight now. I don’t have a choice by the looks of it.

I got on the scales to find that I was 10 stone 6lbs tonight. I haven’t been for a walk a lot due to the weather recently but that is ridiculous. I’m no longer going to be stressed about my weight because I obviously can’t go down beyond a certain point now that I have got to the age that I am. I’m only going to make myself balloon if I try to fight it by restricting calorie in take. I’ve even cut down to one small bottle of Pepsi Max a day. I’ve started drinking fruit flavoured water. I’m moisturising (which is firming my skin so I look more toned) nearly on a daily basis. I just feel that my body is wanting to age which is why my mass is increasing. I can’t really fight my genetic make up any longer. I look at both sides of my family which has consisted of females on both sides widening by mid 30s. I’m short so I am going to see that widening quicker.

I could try to tone my curves and embrace that my body is maturing in shape. I don’t want to look really young anymore. Maybe my figure widening would help me look more womanly rather than girly. I’m very reluctant to let myself expand into a size 12 but it’s better than having tight clothing (that makes me feel fat anyway). I’m still a size 10 now but I’m not sure how long this can be maintained. I used to be a size 8 before I hit 30. I can still wear stretchy size 8 stuff but it is a little on the tight side. I feel quite awful complaining about being a size 10 because many women would love to be able to fit into that size clothing. I can see the changes in my body. The curves are starting to fill out with age. I need to get used to those curves and staying toned so fat doesn’t accumulate around them as I get older. I’m quite critical about the pockets of fat that I have already seemed to have gained. I need to relax about staying skinny. I’ve been a bigger size before… 14, 16 etc. I was happy and I accepted when I was that size. Okay, I decided that when I got to size 16 I had to do something eventually but I was accepting of it for over two years in my early 20s.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what size you are specifically but how you wear clothes. If you wear them right and know how to combine an outfit then you can look fabulous regardless whether you’re slightly larger or built quite curvy. You can cover many bigger areas by wearing layers because it hides the bulkiness in certain places. I used to dress a lot better than I do currently due to being more adventurous with sizing and clothing types. I think that I probably have got a little stuck in my ways over the last 2 or 3 years. I have my daily outfits which I rotate every week. I tend to wear the same outfits nowadays. I don’t really add new items of clothing to the rotation of every day outfits that often in more recent years.

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