Advice for the younger generation (from a 30 something with lots of regrets)…

I have some advice for the younger generation which I think is quite important given what I’ve been through since returning to the area where I grew up. I wish that I’d never allowed social services to push me back to live here. I only agreed because they said that I would be able to keep my baby son after he was born. I don’t want others to fall into the trap of any form of false promises by social services. When they lay all their cards on the table it seems that social services will promise vulnerable people the world but not deliver most of it due to funding and other red tape.

Since returning to the area where I grew up, I’ve seen proof that it’s not a good place to live for any one who is remotely different for any reason. We aren’t a factory town any longer because they’re all closed now. However, the people here are descendants from those that worked in those places. The culture of gossip and social nastiness has been passed down the generations. Those that aren’t in any groups are treated like crap and don’t get the opportunities due not being in those circles. I’ve met people from my school days who have never had a job because they had mental health issues etc. Many of those with mental health issues around here started self medicating with illegal (heroin etc) drugs due to how they were treated. Occasionally there are some addicts who came from privileged backgrounds that chose to take drugs and ended up addicted but this isn’t what seems to be the average circumstances here. I never got addicted to illegal drugs but I went down that road with painkillers because it was a way of numbing how others had made me feel throughout my life.

The new things being decided by Boris Johnson is going to make it even harder for those of us that are different. The last time they gave a load of money to the CPS and targets (when I was a teenager) the system started to label those with autism, mental illness, learning disabilities criminals rather than giving them the lifelong support that they need to properly socially function. Then others (like myself) were shoved in Autistic Treatment Units/Psychiatric Hospitals. That is still happening because the system refuses to provide the lifelong support.

Anyway, I strongly advise that anyone different moves away from the area that they were born in. There is no viable way that you can live in the same county as where you went to school. People that are different are normally always the ‘weird kid’. That isn’t something you want to be spread during your adult life. Socially it results in isolation and being an outsider. I promise you that regardless of whether you feel that it can possibly turn around now you’re an adult, that is a naïve misguided view. I used to think that somehow it would be okay to return to the area I grew up. I was wrong. I urge anyone not to make the same mistake. I came back to this county when I was in my mid 20s. I’m now 32. I haven’t progressed in life. If anything my life went completely horrendous after I returned. It was always awful growing up in this county if you were an outsider for any reason. I can’t move away yet but I’m making the best of living in this county until I can relocate. I’m not in the financial position to do this at the moment.  I can’t say that I am happy living in this area but I naïvely made the wrong choice under duress.  

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