Caught up with everything :) / I’m ready to be open at this point about past intentions.

I finally got all my notes for OU week 1 done again after Mister ruined my previous ones after he spray peed all over my laptop. I am now keeping both my laptop and paperwork away from anywhere he can reach by even jumping onto things.

I spent the last two days trying to fight off migraine and sickness. I could barely eat yesterday. I still feel slightly off today but it’s just the after affects of a migraine. I only get sickness with migraines occasionally but it can last a few days. I’m not even stressed. I don’t feel like I’m stressed. I actually feel quite chilled most of the time right now. I am not constantly on edge like I have been for most of my life. I don’t feel as intimidated by things within my life any longer. I don’t want to seem like I’m provoking certain people here but I feel like I should say why I was truly interested in the person that accused me of all sorts of malicious stuff leading to an order, prison etc.

I can say this now because I’m determined to get my OU degree and do exactly what I wanted them to do. They had a law degree and I wanted them to use it to help me (instead they used it to destroy me). The plan wasn’t thought out well because my head was everywhere after my son was adopted. She was too quick to judge me and I was too temperamental not to mess it all up due to how things had affected me. I generally thought that we could work together to change things in the system that led to my circumstances growing up and my son’s adoption. I had no malicious intent or any weirdness in how I thought of the other person. I also didn’t want to use them but I saw potential in how they could use their law degree to help tackle things in the system which would get the changes needed. I probably came on a bit strong because I’m quite passionate about preventing others having to go through the same experiences. That may come across as demanding but it’s not my intention. I am not an awful person. I’m not what the other person has portrayed either. I was enthusiastic for her to join the cause and help with her law degree and the potential she seemed to have in that department as a person. There was part of me that thought we would make a brilliant team if we mixed our skills and personalities. I was misguided but I look at things in a fairly simplistic way. I don’t see potential problems because I refuse to believe in limitations. I may take that a bit literally but I’ve been up against stuff from a young age. 

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2 thoughts on “Caught up with everything :) / I’m ready to be open at this point about past intentions.

  1. That’s the thing about refusing to believe in limitations and being up against them from an early age.

    Good luck at the OU – glad you were able to do the notes again.

    Did you see things in them that you didn’t the first time you wrote them or read them?

    Reminded me that migraines are not just headaches – the whole body system reacts and they can be warning systems for all kinds of stress.

    Or be completely disconnected from stress like this one was?

    Liked by 1 person

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